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Hurricane Ike update from the Hunker Bunker 3000 Storm Center

2008-09-13T02:08:00.002-05:00

Well, Ike is here and it's 2am. I'm in my downstairs bathroom tub, locked in with the cats, who have generally been a pain in the ass. I still have power, but the heart of the storm hasn't hit downtown yet. I'm streaming a local channel to watch the coverage and check on the storm's movement. I'm fairly tired, but I don't think I'll be able to fall asleep in this tiny tub with everything that's going on.

Here's hoping everything turns out alright. There are a lot of people who didn't leave Galveston despite a mandatory evacuation, and I fear there might be a couple thousand dead when all is said and done. Positive thoughts going out to everyone in southeast Texas.

What. The. FUCK.

2008-09-04T19:29:00.002-05:00

The fat cat doesn't like bacon. The cat that eats any meat with zeal. He doesn't like bacon. Oscar does not like the bacon.

That boy ain't right.

You are retarded if...

2008-03-03T17:12:00.003-06:00

...you refer to Barack Obama as "Barack Hussein Obama."

Yes, you're retarded. You are, just give it up. No...stop...stop protesting. You simply are too stupid to really make your way through the world without bumping into things and making a general nuisance of yourself. You poor thing. But really, who are we kidding? Poor us...you know, those of us who don't think that someone's middle name is a reason for fear or derision, because we have to put up with your incessant mouth-breathing attempts at making something out of nothing. Like you think you're funny. God, you're so tiresome. Go away. You give mommy a headache.

The cake is a lie!

2008-01-02T17:07:00.001-06:00

Portal is one of the most slyly wicked games of the year, which was slipped into the Orange Box release.

The game is simple: make portals. Go through portals. Complete tests administered by GLaDOS, your friendly AI host. Think about the promise of cake. Try not to let GLaDOS kill you as you find out she's quite...fucking insane. Get regaled by the best song in game history once you "beat" GLaDOS.

I'm not a huge gaming fan, but Portal is unique, funny, surprising, brain-teasing and highly rewarding to play.

The Juice got loose!!!

2007-11-10T19:34:00.000-06:00

How you like Illinois now, betches?!

Here is my favorite image of today's Illinois victory over #1 Ohio State:

And this is my second favorite image from today's game:

SAD PANDAS.

Today's lesson: do not overlook Illinois. Some will say OSU is overrated, and they most likely are, but the Illini have a talented young core of players. Juice Williams really got the job done today. Sorry Buckeye fans, but you know it was inevitable.

Today's lesson is...

2007-11-02T16:50:00.000-05:00

Wisdom in a nutshell:

Retroactively do as I say, not as I will tolerate others to do, which my set a precent, but eh, fuck precedent, I'm just making this shit up as I go along.

Wax on, wax off.

Beirut - Elephant Gun

2007-08-29T22:26:00.001-05:00

You should love Beirut. LOVE.

This track is off of the Lon Gisland EP. Also check out his LP Gulag Orkestar, mostly recorded in his bedroom at the tender age of 19.

The work fridge

2007-07-28T22:45:00.000-05:00

If you work in an office, you probably have a community fridge. And if you're like me, you're often repelled by some of the stuff which passes for "oh, I must put this in the refrigerator, for one day I may possibly eat it."

Take, for example, the left-over salad. Yes, after you're done congratulating yourself on your restraint of only eating half of a salad, ponder this for a moment: is that salad going to be appetizing a mere 3 hours after you first picked at it, let alone 2 days later? How many times do I have to open the fridge, only to see some soupy mess sitting in a clear plastic container? How about three such containers? Yes, we all know you're feeling guilty about throwing food away, my salad-eating friend, but if you truly intend on actually eating that stanky glob two days later, I want you to come get me because I want to watch you eat that liquefied mess of barely identifiable vegetables and chicken chunks.

That's nasty. Just throw the damn thing away. You KNOW you're not going to eat it, so why stick that crap in the fridge, like it's some testament to how sympathetic you are to the starving kids in Dafur.

And I found this the other day: a half-drunk bottle of water. What the fuck is that? We have on campus about 50 different ways to get filtered water and icecubes. Just get a cup and drink that! Half-drunk bottle of fucking water, are you kidding me?

I love the folks that won't take responsibility for something they put in the fridge that has been in there far too long. You know the folks...they forget about the Chinese takeout left-overs they brought back from lunch 3 weeks ago. Yup, it's still in there, and due to the unwritten code of not messing with other people's shit, you can't just toss it out. And there comes a point where you really don't want to touch the container to open it, to take a peek inside and see what might just be waiting in there. Fuck that. Who knows what inter-dimensional creature has formed out of the ooze, waiting for fresh meat?

And then there are the times when you open the fridge, only to be hit with a big huge whiff of pure stank. You can't find the source, and you really don't want to spend much time poking around in there, trying to find it either. But you stand there, lunch in hand, a little grossed out about the prospect of having your food sit in there along with that stank, and you quickly trace out in your head the quickest path to the closest alternate fridge. (It should be noted that many times, that stank is the result of the salad-soup that's still sitting unabashedly in there from last week.)

People just nasty when it comes to the work fridge. It only takes a couple people to ruin it for the rest of us, and I, for one, do not appreciate it.

And what the fuck...who keeps using my International Delight creamer? There comes a point where I have to consider the fine line between protecting the shit I paid for and obsessively pondering ways to detect creamer theft and catching the creamer thief. Don't think I haven't thought about taping one side of a piece of my own hair to the creamer, and another one to the side of the fridge as a makeshift tripwire to discover an incident of theft. I thought about putting a biohazard sticker on it, but then one of the cleaning ladies would probably throw it out. Never mind the ACTUAL biohazard stewing in that salad container.

I then considered putting the following message on the bottle:

"If you're about to use this creamer but didn't actually pay for it, ask yourself: what would Bear Grylls do? If the answer isn't 'take off my underwear, pee on it and wrap it around my head,' then perhaps this creamer isn't for you."

But then the whole "Man vs. Wild is staged" controversy broke out, and I feel that using Bear Grylls as my trump card just doesn't have the punch it once had. Dude still drinks his own pee, so that should count for something, but it's just not enough.

Which makes me consider: if I peed in my own creamer, that would really punish the creamer-stealer, as I'm pretty sure I could get over drinking my own pee (after all, Bear Grylls does it, and he's still alive, am I right?), but the secret knowledge that someone else is drinking my waste water would be simply diabolical. And I have tasted Diet Coke, so I can't imagine one's own pee is much worse.

All of that to say: clean your nasty shit out of the fridge and quit fucking using my creamer!

Blonde Redhead - Top Ranking Video

2007-06-09T11:23:00.001-05:00

More good music, this time from a band called Blonde Redhead. This is off their album "23."

Klaxons - Golden Skans

2007-05-27T11:38:00.001-05:00

Half-naked mens and a great song = WIN!

For an anonymous commenter

2007-04-26T00:30:00.000-05:00

I received this comment today:

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Andy Vodvarka is an asshole -or- the Gail C. Vodva...":

This may be the wrong place for this, but i think i knew Gail many years ago. Was she a reservist and worked for a time for the USDA as a guard at a quarentine station in Illinois? If this is indeed the same Gail Vodvarka please accept my condolences. I always liked her and actually googled her name in hopes of contacting her.

Yes, Gail was a reservist back in Illinois. Thank you so much for your condolences. She was pretty much well-liked by everyone she met; she had a way of making friends with just about anybody.

Menomena - Wet And Rusting

2007-03-24T09:59:00.001-05:00

From my new favoritist band EVAR. Go out and buy Friend and Foe NOW. Or you're a whore.

Gaming with Gail.

2007-03-21T17:05:00.000-05:00

Around this time of year - March Madness - I start thinking about my sister Gail, who passed away two years ago.

I inherited her XBox; she didn't have a ton of stuff in her name and I didn't really even want the XBox, it just kinda showed up with the few things my dad brought back from Tennessee after going through her "estate."

But the thing has sat in my garage for 2 years now. I didn't have much of a desire to actually plug it in, as it seemed kind of creepy. Well, I got over myself this past weekend, and finally hauled the thing into my living room and plugged it in.

I played Halo for the first time in my life and it was strange going through the list of character that were already created. I had to wonder which one my sister used, and which ones her friends created. I knew I was using the same controller she used because it was the only one with the cord extension on it, and she wasn't very mobile.

Looking through her small game selection, I have to wonder why she bought a Buffy the Vampire Slayer game or Mortal Kombat. She has the Namco classics like Pacman, which I remember playing with her at a Pizza Hut in Chicago when she'd take me out when I was a kid. We'd play the table top video game and eat pizza and I thought I was cool because I was hanging out with adults. She was about 17 years older than me.

I wonder if she was any good at Halo, if she could have kicked my butt. I wonder if she would have liked the Wii or considered buying a 360. Why was she even into gaming in the first place?

I don't know the answers to any of these questions and this is indicative of our relationship in the later years of her life. We rarely talked about frivolous stuff. Mostly it was about family and problems and just the kind of shit that you dread talking about. It all seems rather trite now. Most things do.

Dear Jeff Bezos: AMAZON SUCKS AND SO DO YOU!*

2007-03-07T16:05:00.000-06:00

I'm posting this as an experiment to see if Jeff Bezos will ban me from amazon.com so that I no longer spend money there because I told him that he and his site sucks. Hey, it works on other e-commerce sites, where they get all sniffly and pouty, but I'm taking on the big boys now.

* I don't really hate Jeff or Amazon.com. I LOVE amazon.com and I'm sure Jeff is a nice fellow.

Three In One - Chief Illiniwek

2007-02-21T19:41:00.001-06:00

The last performance of Chief Illiniwek occurs tonight during the basketball game vs. Michigan. The Three In One is one of the University's most revered traditions.

I remember first seeing the performance at a football game, and chills went down my spine. All the student and alumni raise their arms in unison with the Chief as "Hail to the Orange" begins to play. It is perhaps the first time you feel like a true student at the University, connected not only to the school, but to the Illini around you.

I'm so sad to see him go.

Old people PWN at Wii bowling.

2007-02-21T17:20:00.000-06:00

So, you think you're a gamer?

Nintendo thinks everyone is a gamer.

The Chicago Tribune has an article about the Wii taking a retirement home in Lincolnshire Illinois by storm that just hit joystiq.com.

Makes me want to wiitire.

(Tribune photos by David Trotman-Wilkins)

R.I.P. Chief Illiniwek

2007-02-18T21:46:00.000-06:00

I just read on ESPN.com that the University of Illinois is retiring Chief Illiniwek for good.

I have always been pro-Chief and thought he was a good representative of the University. Those outside of the U of I probably aren't aware that he wasn't used as a mascot. He didn't jump up and down after touchdowns. He only performs at halftime of football and basketball games along with the Marching Illini. I always got chills watching them perform the 3-in-1 at halftime at Memorial Stadium. It is a proud, revered and loved tradition. The Chief wasn't a mascot, he was a symbol of our University.

The NCAA basically ruled the Chief a racist symbol and barred the U of I from hosting any post-season events. After a decade-long debate over this issue, the collegiate equivalent of the mafia has strong-armed the University. Yet the Florida State Seminoles get to retain their symbol. They have the backing of the Seminole tribe. There are no Illiniwek left to either support or condemn the Chief.

There are supporters and opponents of the Chief from many different cultural backgrounds. Native Americans for and against, just like anyone else. But in the end, it all comes down to the NCAA.

The University will retain the "Fighting Illini" name. There is no plan for a new mascot as yet. But no guy in a goofy suit acting the fool during sporting events will ever replace Chief Illiniwek.

Guitar Hero II - Rock out with your rooster out!

2007-01-31T22:06:00.000-06:00

Tee hee, I said rooster!

Seriously though, if you want to SHRED like a guitar god, nay, a GUITAR HERO, then you need to buy Guitar Hero II for the Playstation2.

Okay, so it comes with a little plastic guitar controller. Get over it, cuz said guitar controller has a WHAMMY BAR. Waaaa waaaa waaaaaah!

So, if one wishes to rock out with their cock out but possesses little or no actual music instrumental talent, Guitar Hero II is for you! It's more fun than a bag of kittens. Well, not as cute, but certainly more fun and less emotionally needy. Although, damn, I sure do love kittens. And I love to SHRED!

Watch out Steven Colbert...I smell Guitarmaggedon II coming on and you can't cheat your way out of this one, you rat bastard! Actually, the thought of Colbert going up against someone in Guitar Hero would be really funny.

SHRED! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!!!

First impressions of the Wii

2007-01-23T23:10:00.000-06:00

Well, I've had my Wii for a couple days now and it's great. Sitting in the cold, rainy weather waiting in line was worth it; not that camping out wasn't fun...the people in line were cool and we had some nice conversations.

One of the things Nintendo has done right is making the Wii easy to use. Hardcore gamers might balk at some of the controls, claiming that it will make games like Mortal Kombat: Armageddon easier for noobs to play and achieve fatality combos on, but that's a bunch of flibberity-floo. I think it will be a challenge for game designers to figure out how to use the Wii remote and nunchuk in innovative ways, but that's what they're paid to do. The hardcore gamers are married to their archaic controls and what they were able to do on those controls, but is that really gaming?

The Wii remote and the nunchuk really do take gaming to what seems to be the natural next step. It's more interactive, more intuitive and simply more fun. Two controls would seem to be more confusing than just one, but you're doing more than just pushing buttons. You can flick the nunchuk to reload a gun, or use both of the controllers to form patterns to do tricks, which will be featured in the new SSX snowboarding game. Is it more intuitive to press a bunch of buttons in a set order to throw Scorpion's spear at an opponent or flicking the remote towards that opponent and back to pull off the move?

These are innovative and new ways to game, which we've kinda seen already in games like Guitar Hero and Okami. Guitar Hero isn't just cool because you're rocking out on a guitar...it's cool because you're actually rocking out on a guitar! While the guitar controller is more literal than the Wii controllers, it's a great way to break out of the standard controller. Okami uses the standard PS2 controller, but introducing the Celestial Brush where you use the controller to "paint" the moves you do in the game is outside of conventional gameplay. There is a greater tactile and visual experience with these games because they extend beyond pushing a button to initiate an action and actually link movements much closer to gameplay.

The Wii channels are pretty interesting. While there's only a few right now, the ones they have are pretty good. The Mii channel alone adds something fresh to gaming that can keep people occupied for hours creating Miis. Sharing your Miis with friends and watching them move from console to console is kinda neat. In many respects, the Wii is more than just a gaming console - there's a fun social networking aspect to it that if Nintendo does their online stuff right, and could really differentiate the Wii even further from the other next-gen consoles.

The Virtual Console is definately something I think a lot of people my age, who have been gaming for 20+ years, will take advantage of. Being able to buy and download old-school games brings back a lot of memories for people, and allows folks like me, who haven't really played a lot of Nintendo franchise games, a chance to see what all the fuss is about.

The thing Nintendo doesn't do quite well yet, and should capitalize on, is online play. A huge part of the XBox 360's success is their XBox Live online feature. And while the obvious games like Gears of War and Halo are huge online successes, one of their biggest online game successes is Uno.

Nintendo, however, has made it difficult to even share your Miis with friends. In order to do so, you and your friend have to enter 16-digit console codes in for each friend. While this protects you from people you don't know, it also places forced boundaries into what could be a vast online space. Right now there is limited one-to-one linking of consoles, and really to only share Miis. There is no online gaming right now.

But, imagine a Wii channel that basically becomes the lobby for finding online games. One of Nintendo's biggest hit games, Mario Kart 64, is being released next Monday on the Virtual Console. A huge feature of MK 64 is a four-way split screen that allows 4 people to race one another. This should be online, no question about it. And not just between friends you've shared console codes with, but online for anyone who owns the game.

Think about Nintendo's Wii Sports...how about being able to create bowling leagues with people from around the world? Even if they couldn't achieve this with the current bowling game in Wii Sports, I don't doubt that people would run out to buy a seperate Wii bowling game that featured dynamic online play like this.

Comparing scores and rankings with players around the world is a huge draw of XBox live - there's no reason for Nintendo to not expand the Wii games online and add metrics like rankings.

One of the things Nintendo tries to do is protect its players from unwanted attention from the unsavory elements you find online. On their handheld, the DS, their WiFi service works the same way for some games (friend-to-friend only), but you can play other games online with people from around the world with limited interaction with those players. The friend codes make sense for games like Animal Crossing, where you've painstakingly created your own environment; it would suck for a stranger to come to your AC town and buy out your store, rip up your trees and flowers or do other things to wreak havoc on the work you've done. But those safety measures can be front-end requirements for games like AC when it comes to the Wii.

I will be very interested to see if and how Nintendo implements online play. They should emulate XBox Live and make gaming on the Wii like gaming on the internet...full messaging, voice communication, the works. It is not Nintendo's job to play parent and guardian to kids that play on their console; that's what parents and parental controls are for. That's also what game ratings are for.

Right now the Wii scores high for fun factor and innovation. Nintendo is pleased and surprised by the Wii's success, but there's a lot of room for them to make it even more kick-ass and a must-own console for casual and hardcore gamers alike. Online play would go a long way towards that end. Also, a large and varied game selection. I predict it will be at least a year before we see a game come out that really shows the true potential of the controllers - until then, a lot of games ported from the Playstation or the XBox will seem tacked on and new games will just scratch the surface of the control system. But I think that it will be good enough to tide people over until the huge franchise games hit, like Mario, Metroid and Super Smash Bros. And those Nintendo mainstays will keep people happy before true control innovations or new gaming genres hit the Wii.

6:30 a.m. + Circuit City = Wii-gasm!

2007-01-21T10:30:00.000-06:00

I was second in line at Circuit City this morning at 6:30 am. They only had nine consoles. Many sad pandas were turned away.

I, however, now own a Wii!

Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!

Okay, gotta go set it up.

Mine, MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE!

2007-01-19T18:21:00.000-06:00

Rayman and his Rabbids are now in my possession. Thanks to Best Buy and their price matching policy, I didn't even have to wander into Circuit City and try to find the game and then, even worse, try to figure out how to check out.

I don't like CC very much.

Now, all I need is a damn Wii. I was this close to buying a Wii bundle on Walmart.com, but #1: it's Walmart and they are the afterbirth of satan and #2: I would have to buy 6 additional games as part of the bundle, and I just couldn't justify the expense.

I really want a Wii, make no mistake, but I'm hoping for luck on Sunday morning. I think I'm going to hit Target first at 6:30 am or so, and then head over to Best Buy or CC if no luck. I was going to just camp out at CC because they had an online coupon for $40 off, but the digg effect caused them to first change the exceptions to include game systems, then just pull the coupon all together. Whores.

So, Target opens at 8am, the other two around 10 or 11, so hopefully I'll just find some luck at Target, otherwise I may be shit outta luck if I go to Best Buy after 8. This is a bunch of craziness for one freaking game system and believe me, I don't usually do this, but I want a Wii!

In other gaming news: World of Warcraft's expansion, The Burning Crusade, has got me so apathetic, I'm thinking of just ditching WoW for good. I had fun on WoW and made "friends," but they all dried up and the thought of leveling to 70 just isn't exciting. Nor is the thought of spending 5+ hours a night in front of the computer. I have a life to live and a career to be mindful of, so it no longer makes much sense for me to play a game that pretty much amounts to a part-time job.

I'd much rather spend my time cooking dinner, checking out what's on TV and maybe playing the Wii for a bit. Or a lot. But the Wii isn't high maintenance...WoW is, especially if you want to keep up with your guildies, and I just don't think I have it in me. Eh, life's been pretty damn good without WoW, since I stopped playing when I got my kidney stone; I honestly don't miss it.

Anyhoo, fingers crossed for Sunday morning. I could be in for a long morning of driving around in my search.

Oh yes, it will be mine: SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!

2007-01-16T16:19:00.000-06:00

T-minus...uh...however many days until Sunday.

Rumor has it that Best Buy and Target are holding their Wii's (LOLZ...SEE WHAT I DID THAR?) and releasing them this Sunday.

Uh, so yeah, I'll be there. I have no idea if I should go at like 4 am and see if there's a line or just take my chances that they'll have plenty of inventory (rumor also has it that it's a large release). I'll probably do the 4 am thing then go home if no one is standing in line.

So, I'll be at the Galleria Best Buy on Sunday morning. Come by and visit!

I touched it!

2007-01-14T21:42:00.000-06:00

I was in Best Buy today to get a couple CDs that were on sale, and I got to actually touch the Wii remote! It was like opening the Arc of the Covenent, except without all the melting faces and death. I didn't play Wii Sports, as I was in a "get in, get out" hurry so I could catch the Bears v. Seahawks football game, but it was wonderful. I kinda giggled and mumbled "Jenny want" as I laid down the remote. I think I'm slightly mentally ill.

More Wii news...Circuit City has Rayman's Raving Rabbids on sale for $29.99 this week. I'm so there. $20 off? MINE! That will up my total of Wii games to 2. And my total of Wii consoles to 0.

Bunnies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-01-12T22:15:00.000-06:00

Cuz I wuv dem.

I'm coming out of the closet...

2007-01-11T01:13:00.001-06:00

...I'm addicted to Target.

I'M ADDICTED TO TARGET!!

I've now gone to target around 8am every Saturday morning for four weeks now. I could hide behind the old "shopping for the holidays" excuse, but I'd be lying. I've purchased clothes, New Super Mario Bros. for the DS, Tylenol and various other items, including cute kitty cat holiday socks.

This morning, I bought The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess for the Wii.

I don't own a Wii.

But it was on sale for $39.99, which is ten bucks off its regular retail price -- I went there specifically to buy Zelda; it was ten dollars off people! And one day I'll get a Wii.

God, I love Target. I'd snort it if it came in powder form.