The Phantom Stone

Well, I think my kidney stone is gone. Doc says she didn't see anything in my latest x-rays, except for a couple pelvic phleboliths, which are small areas of calcification in the veins that can resemble kidney stones. I almost freaked out with that one, but turns out they're harmless and most adults have them.

I still have the feeling of something in my pelvis, perhaps it's just psychosomatic, perhaps the stone is still in a ureter (which would require a cat scan to see), but given the course of what I went through, especially given my symptoms on Thanksgiving -- the urge to pee all the damn time -- she thinks I passed the stone and just missed it.

Which is entirely possible since I'd get about a D- if you graded me on straining my urine. I did get to the point where I was peeing on my hand less, but I think I may have strained a grand total of 30% of liquid. Unlike menfolk, I can't aim, so it wasn't an exact science. A lot of pee escaped strainage. Sue me. You try straining your urine at 3 o'clock in the morning because you drank so damn much liquid that you have to pee like 3 times a night.

So I'm going to assume I'm stone-free. I see my urologist again in 6 months to see if I have any more stones forming, but for now, my kidneys look clear. And I've changed my diet, moving a lot of stuff out regular rotation, putting it on "treat" status. Like my once a week cup of Starbucks.

So kids, take this as a lesson to take care of your kidneys! Drink fluids! Drink orange juice and lemonade, as the citrate helps keep stones from forming. Also drink water right before bed and after you get up. Your kidneys do a lot of their work at night, and what aren't you doing during the night? Staying hydrated, that's what!

Avoid loading up on foods with oxalates in them, as oxalate and calcium (which you don't have to avoid unless you're overdoing it) help form the most commonly seen stones. Look oxalate up on Google to see what foods it shows up in. I think drinking 2 cups of coffee a weekday for the past 3-4 years wasn't good for my kidneys, especially since I didn't hydrate with much else. I'm not a big drinker. I would barely touch my drink during meals. Which has all changed since the stone.

Oh, and don't protein-load either. Too much protein isn't good for you either. Everything in moderation (have we not learned this lesson yet?).

I guess it's finally time to take the bottle of vicodin out of my purse that I carried around with me just in case.

On a side note: my cat smells like fajitas. Guess what I grilled up on my stove top grill today?

On a super side note: I have determined, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that corn torillas completely and utterly suck.

Note to self: remember to buy some flour torillas tomorrow for the fajita leftovers.

Super note to self: the Texans still suck donkey testes.