Kidney Stone 2006 - Week 2

Seems my stone is 5 mm big. It might pass, it might not. But the doctors want me to give it the old college try before they intervene. Thankfully, if I start getting a fever or throw up, they'll do something, but for now, it's pee and pray.

So, I'm pretty much on vicodin non-stop now to take the edge off (doesn't it start this way, the drug-lifestyle?) and peeing into a little cup with a strainer in the bottom to capture my stone should it pass. Capture it, like it's a wild animal or something. And there's no getting around peeing on my hand. Like, I just don't have the skills to NOT pee on my own hand. All in order to capture the stone. If it passes. Like, ever.

AND, I get to do this all at work to when I go back on Wednesday. That's going to be fun. Peeing into a cup and all over myself. THEN walking to the sink to clean up. Fantastic.

AND, to top it all off, I have to go in for a drug test tomorrow because my job just offered me a, uh, job. Full time employment that is, no more contracting. You can be sure I'm pretty much a pro at peeing into cups (providing good quantity - obviously not a pro at the neatness department of it) and I can't wait to go tomorrow and explain that vicodin will most likely show up on my test, not because I'm some sort of degenerate addict like House, but because I have a kidney stone that refuses to come see the light of day.

Muthafuck. Out damn stone. I mean, I can live my life at maybe 60-70% capacity right now, which is okay, cuz I kinda needed a bit of a slow-down (blame the vicodin!), but it's not fun living with a constant pain in your groin. There may be a joke in there somewhere. I can't see it right now. I got a rock in my pee-tube, gimme a break!