Lizard licks his eyeball...

I don't know what Geico is paying their advertising company for their commercials, but whatever it is, they need to quadruple it.

When I first saw the Burt Bacharach commercial, I was stupified. When I saw it a second time, I was rolling on the floor. Burt looks a little worse for wear these days, but his creepy rendition of a Geico customer's story is...creepy, yet hee haw funny.

I, too, hope I never get hit in the rear again.

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Other items of note:

Starbucks: I don't usually get anything other than a grande coffee with cream when I go to the Fourbucks, but those bastards have found a new way to extract money from me by simply asking: "Would you like a shot of espresso in that?" They might as well ask me if I'd like some oral sex with my coffee. Like, duh. More caffeine? MORE?! Why yes, I want MORE. Bastards.

IKEA: I just got my 2007 IKEA catalog. I love the home of cheap, but kinda cool, furniture. But I dread buying the stuff. And anyone who has bought IKEA furniture knows why. I would be FAR easier to negotiate peace in the middle east or understand the complexities of a multi-billion dollar corporate take-over contract than put together a piece of their furniture. Step 1: Put these 40 wooden pegs into this large, heavy slab of wood. Step 2: Shove some perpendicual pieces of wood in there and line up those 40 pegs with 40 holes in some other really heavy slab of wood and push together. Then use this little allen wrench to tighten it all up. Fuck that shit.

A kick to the gut: So, I was watching rally car racing on ESPN2 this weekend, and Travis Pastrana of motocross fame is getting into rally racing for the upcoming X Games. So, ESPN2 does a little feature of him getting a brand new Subaru WRX STi rally car, all stickered up and lookin' fine. And he proceeds to roll the damn thing. Something inside me died a little in that moment of time. Dear Subaru: send ME a rally-ready WRX STi and I won't roll it. I promise!