Random thoughts. Jennifer Vodvarka's thoughts. Be scared.

Oct 27, 2005

My dad is a traitorous communist baby eater!

So, I gets to talking to my dad about the World Series. He was born on the north side of Chicago. I was born in the NW 'burbs of Chicago. He's a Cubs fan, I'm a Cubs fan. Certainly, as a tried and true die-hard Cubs fan, you don't root for the White Sox, right?

Well, if you're my dad, you do.

Sigh. Apparently for him it's a "Chicago thing." For him, Chicago is home, so he will root for a Chicago sports team even if its the hated White Sox. I rooted for the Astros. Hey, we live in Houston and it's the hated White Sox! I cannot cross party lines and become a Sox fan simply because they're the other team (that no one cares about) in Chicago.

Seriously, have you ever met a White Sox fan? I lived in the area for 22 years and I have yet to meet a White Sox fan.

I do have to say that their win was fairly impressive. The Astros really gave up the booty those 4 games. They had so many opportunities to win or hold onto leads, and they just gave those games away. But it's the Astros. Apparently they have caught "the suck" from the Texans.

And boy do the Texans suck. There is no end to the suffering of that team. Even with the lowly Browns coming in this week there doesn't seem to be an end in sight for the suckly suckies. We may as just erase the previous 3 years of development and go into rebuilding mode. Seems silly to talk of rebuilding a four year old team, but Casserly, Capers, et al. have wrought such a huge vacuum of suck that some house cleaning needs to be done. David Carr may be done in Houston. At this point, I really feel sorry for the guy. He can't do anything behind that offensive line, and even when he has a little time, he doesn't seem to know what to do with it. He's playing scared and stupid. Not a good combination.

The only end in sight for the suck that is Houston sports is the Rockets. Looking at this team and the moves they made in the off season, you gotta be excited. Jeff Van Gundy, or JVG as this city knows him, has cemented his place in the city's heart by not only getting this team on a roll, but also taking on the league. He's one of those rare coaches that will tell it like it is in the media (memo to Dom Capers). If the Rockets put out a horrible effort one night, he'll say "we played terrible, we didn't work, we didn't put in the effort." That's JVG. That's how he rolls. And that's how the Rockets are going to roll this year.

I still can't believe my dad was rooting for the White Sox. It makes your skin crawl.

Oct 14, 2005

LOLZ! /dance /celebrate /collectunemployment

ZOMG LOLZ ROFLCOPTER!

In other words, I just got laid off from the job I hated. Yay! Not only do I have to be miserable Monday-Friday, I get unemployment for being happy! Drinks on me!

They have superb timing. At the same time I was being laid off, Tennesee Adult Protective Services are hopefully intervening with my mom and taking her to the emergency room for a physical and psychological work up. Yay! I mean, AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME. 3pm central. My mom is heading to the loony bin, and I'm headed home with my layoff boxes.

I didn't make a stink though. Just nodded, packed up my stuff and left. There was so much I could say, but THAT'S WHAT THE INTERNET IS FOR! Well, for starters, they would give us "advance warning" if our jobs were in jeopardy. That didn't happen. But I haven't come to expect much after some of the shit that's gone on.

I have learned a great lesson from all of this, and I'll quote a maxim that used in poker a lot: "better to be lucky than good." There are many things in life that can be an illusion. People are no exception to this rule. Believing in others based on past success can often by one's downfall. I could win the World Series of Poker tomorrow, but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm a good poker player. I maybe just got lucky. Or maybe my success was largly due to other people. You never know. And that's my point. Sometimes you get lucky in your career and hook up with people who are the bee's knees and sometimes you hook up with the bee's ass.

But we all know in life that sometimes you have to take risks. I did so and hopefully didn't set my career back too much. I wasn't used to my full abilities. Check that. My full abilities were given lip service and then ignored in favor of the tried-and-true "monkey see, monkey do" technique. I'm sure all the revenue that is being generated from these carnival barker schemes will someday prove me wrong, but I'm not holding my breath. You see, I don't have a PhD nor am I a" one minute millionaire," so what do I know that could possibly hold any value? Nothing.

There's a lesson here: don't roll around in dog shit if you're trying to sell perfume. Your customers will smell something is wrong.

God, I think of all the smart and usable websites I could have been creating with great content and functionality. Instead, I kept having to do stuff I knew users hated. Stuff that drives users away. Stuff that makes them hit the "back" button faster than the speed of light. Stuff that never took the target audience into consideration. It just...wore on me intellectually and spiritually. Maybe I'm missing something, maybe I have no idea of what I'm talking about, but I do know this: there is no express lane to revenue, especially if you don't have stuff people are aching for. There is no easy button! It's work and experimentation and fucking BUILDING CREDIBILITY.

Wow. Again, I come back to a trust issue. Trust is key in all relationships. It's no different with customers. If your target audience isn't the slightly depressingly desperate infomercial crowd, then don't treat them like they are! I guess I'm just missing something in my brain that processes illogical decisions and determines they are good ones.

Thank god for that.

This has been one shitty week, topped off with the blessing of not having to be miserable at a job anymore, with the slighty panicky "I have no income to pay my mortgage!" feeling.

Feh, I was $15-25K underpaid anyway. Another lesson: if you find yourself figuring out the lowest amount you can live on in order to make that your salary requirement out of some dumbass altruistic desire to "be a part of something," you better be damn sure you know who and what you're sacraficing for. Is it really going to pay off, will you really be a part of something? Sometimes you just can't know. I should have been smarter and followed some of my gut feelings.

Well, it's going to be me hitting the virtual bricks next week to find another job or at least some freelance work. Sometimes you need a kick in the ass to make a change you've desperately needed for quite a while.

I just hope my mom's going to be okay. She's the one that really needs all the help she can get. I just wish there was something I could do to change her back into the woman that raised me instead of the ill person she is today. =(

Oct 10, 2005

Baseball sucks. Coincidence, so do the Texans.

I'm going to go ahead and say it: baseball needs a time limit.

After sitting through nearly SIX hours of Astros v. Braves playoff baseball, including some of the most non-eventful nine innings ever to grace the mostly-non-eventful game of baseball itself, I can confidently say I will never get those six hours of my life back back, nor can anyone convince me that 18 innings of baseball is a way to spend an afternoon.

Yes, baseball needs a time limit. I suggested that perhaps the Astros should all lay down and pretend to be sleeping, so at least as to call the game on account of naptime. They could always resume another day. I was not looking forward to seeing position players taking the mound, as both teams had pretty much exausted their bullpens. By the 18th, the team consisted of a bunch of scrubs who I had never heard of before and Roger Clemens. If the game had gone much longer, there would have been some ugly pitching from backup third basemen or some other such silliness.

I did not set out to watch 18 innings of Astros baseball, but it was featured on 4 of the 5 big screens at the sports bar we go to on Sundays to watch football. Football was definately on the back burner yesterday in Houston, and who can blame anyone, seeing as the Houston Texans are now officially the worst team in the NFL right now.

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Speaking of the worst team in football, it is now time to put the anti-rally caps on and pray for a 0-16 season for the Texans, because we could use a high pick in the first round. I'm not quite ready to throw David Carr under the bus, but I would gladly back the car over Dom Capers and Charley Casserly. These two need to be gone. Casserly first and foremost.

My friend Allen, aka The Angry Negro, has a very good point about Casserly and his personnel decisions. Take a look at Phillip Buchanon, the CB we traded a second AND third round pick for in the 2005 draft. Allen's take is this: no matter how big an asshole you are, there are four skill positions in the NFL that you don't bench: QB, RB, WR and CB. If you're a shutdown corner, you don't bench that player. But that's what the Raiders did half of last year with Phillip Buchanon. Add to that the fact that really no other teams were courting the Raiders to get Buchanon except for the Texans. Allen thinks we gave away too much to get Buchanon, that he could have been had for a third round pick if the Texans were patient.

So what has Buchanon done this season for the Texans? Get burnt coming and going by just about every team, and benched the third game into the season. So at least he's in a familiar position as last year with the Raiders.

Let's take a look at the 2005 draft. Rangy linebackers who can create plays fit pretty well in the 3-4 scheme right? And who's sitting on the draft board when the Texans were about to pick? Stud LB Derrick Johnson out of Texas. Do the Texans take him? No, they trade down and let KC grab him up and take Travis Johnson instead. Derrick Johnson is only starting for an improved KC defense. Huh. Go figure. I haven't heard anything of Travis Johnson this year. If the Texans were going to trade down, why not grab up OT Alex Barron to help their woeful O-line?

So, to recap: the Texans keep drafting defensive players high, but they take the wrong ones. The only pick worth anything in the past couple of years has been Dunta Robinson. But they pass on Derrick Johnson, a stud LB, and don't do anything to improve their O-line. Taking a stud OT in the middle of the first round is not a bad way to spend a pick! You can't take them too high unless they're touted as one of the best to come around in years, but good OTs are few and far between, and certainly Alex Barron may have made more of an immediate impact than Travis Johnson. In sum, our defense is without one takeaway, we're worst than last year in that respect, and we make stupid picks and trades that cost us future picks or better players.

And that O-line. It's pitiful. Whether it's the scheme or the players or a mix of both, they are helping deep-six David Carr's career and confidence. There were at least three sacks yesterday against the Titans that Carr had no time to blink, let alone look downfield. That's not bad QB play. There's nothing you can do when the ball is snapped and you've got linemen in your face within seconds. The O line has been a glaring need on this team since the team started four years ago, and yet we trade for a bum like Phillip Buchanon and draft just-on-the-cusp-of-being-busts like Jason Babin.

Oh, and shall we talk of wide receivers not named Andre Johnson? Corey Suckford. There's a reason this guy was cut from the team. He tested the free agent waters. Guess what, no one else wanted him. What do the Texans do? Resign him. All this guy does is drop balls that matter, catch the ones that don't, and don't even turn to catch balls thrown his way. I would put him on the bench so quick his head would spin and get Jerome Mathis out there (faster than fast) and play Derick Armstrong as the slot receiver. All Armstrong does is make plays. So why isn't this guy out there more?

Call the fucking season a wash. Play Mathis, Armstrong and Morency so they get some needed experience. Hope to go 0-16 so we got a shot at a number one pick. I have no qualms about taking a QB first. I'm apathetic about Matt Leinart. A great college QB, no doubt, but I don't want another David Carr. I'm thinking big, exciting and Vick-like. Vince Young? Can we hope? I would prefer Young to be a better passer, but he's quickly improving in that aspect of the game. Leinart isn't electifying, and if the Texans need something, it's someone who has that X-factor of being able to make special plays. Perhaps Reggie Bush fits that bill, but I'm not big on RBs who aren't really RBs. Brian Westbrook might be a great x-factor type player, but I really think Philly's running game suffers because they don't have a true every-down back. Westbrook makes plays when he's in space and running backs need to be able to run between the tackles every now and then.

I don't think Houston's running game is the first thing to work on. I think Carr may be past the point of being permanently scarred, so getting Vincent Young would be a nice change of direction. A WR is sorely needed, because Andre Johnson has not yet proved he can get past double teams. Or can he? We don't know really since Carr can't get him the ball. When Carr's first throwing option is Corey Suckford, you know something is terribly, terribly wrong. O line is, of course, something that should have been addressed 3 years ago. I really think Dom Capers is a reactive coach who takes too freaking long to make the right decision. I don't think this zone blocking scheme is working and they need to do something different now. You gave it year, it hasn't improved, don't give it another year of failure. And here's another reason why Dom is worthless. He was thinking of firing ex-offensive coach Chris Palmer at the end of last season but decided against it. Uh, why exactly? The offense was about as creative as a COBOL programmer on downers. If his gut instinct was to fire him, why did he cripple the offseason, training camp and this season by not pulling the trigger?

0-16 Texans fans. Visualize it. Hope for it. Pray for it. #1 pick. It could be ours!

Oct 4, 2005

So, let me get this right...

...I can use Voice Over IP to make phone calls over the internet.

You mean the same internet I need phone service at home in order to use?

Overkill? Irony? Damn, why don't I have a cable modem instead of DSL?

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In other news, the sounds of hundreds of thousands of butts hitting the seats of the Houston Astros bandwagon were heard in Houston on Sunday as Houston clinched the NL Wild Card. And the Astros lowered a "Back-to-Back National League Wild Card Champions" banner at the Juice Box. Yay!

In honor of the Houston Astros and in the spirit of celebrating not-quite-first-place-ness, I have made some alternative banners:

"Back-to-Back Not First Place Champions!"

"Back-to-Back We Made Ourselves This Sign to Make Ourselves Feel Special Champions"

"Back-to-Back When Will the Cardinals Just Die or Join the American League Champions"

"Back-to-Back Second Place in the National League - Not Quite Good Enough to Win, Not Quite Sucky Enough to Suck"

"Back-to-Back Fairweather Fans Will Pay Attention to Us for At Least a Week Champions!"

"Back-to-Back Wait Til Next Year Champions!"

"Yay! Second Place! Back-to-Back! Yay! Rub Our Tummies!"