Voting attempt #2 is a success!

Here was my journey to early voting in this year's election, or, "Jen's Path to Democracy" at the local Fiesta grocery store:

Spaghetti Sauce
Pasta
Imported Pasta
Specialty International Foods
Coffee/Tea
Noodle Bowls
Soy Sauce
Hot Sauce
Quail Eggs in Brine
Strange Jamaican Soft Drinks
Curry
Coconut Milk
Indian Rice

VOTE!

Note to Chippy: sorry your comment got deleted, but I triple posted due to problems with Blogger. I did vote straight Democratic ticket except making some choices for Libertarians and I voted against one Democrat who is just not my idea of a smart person. And I voted for a reduction in my property taxes, which is always a good thing, on our local propositions.

Okay, the Boston Red Sox are OFFICIALLY annoying me

It's a mere 10 minutes into the Boston Red Sox' World Series win and I'm already bored and annoyed.

"We've waited soooooooooooooo long...curse, curse, curse...one championship before I die...BLAH-DEE-FUCKING-BLAH."

Color me jealous. Whatever. But now my Chicago Cubs have a fucking CORNERSTONE on whining about curses. The curse of the goat kicks the curse of the Bambino's ass. Hey, we got a curse because we wouldn't let a GOAT into the 1945 World Series. Boston had a curse because they traded Babe Ruth? BOR-ing!

So, the Cubs haven't been to a World Series since '45 and they haven't won since 1908.

1908. Fuck you Boston, we now offically OWN you in the "oh, we fans suffer so much" category. Thank GOD...we no longer have to share the crown of thorns. I think I shall start suffering now, in preparation for spring training.

Slama-lama-ding-dong! It's time for my Cubs marytrdom to begin in earnest!

Failed early voting attempt #1

Well, I headed over to one of the early polling locations this morning to cast my vote to boot Bush out of office, but the line was hella long. I guess most everyone had the same idea. Plus, the place was stinky, so I left since my stomach is a bit on edge.

This particular polling place is inside a Fiesta, which is an "international" grocery store. Which is just really code for low-rent and smelly. I'll give it another go tomorrow.

I'm going to attempt to get a Kerry vs. Bush knife fight going while waiting in line.

"Shivin' bitches for Kerry!"

Good times.

Random shit!

Weird stuff makes me happy: I opened my freezer up yesterday to put away groceries only to be delighted by a bag of tater tots that I had forgotten I had bought last week.

Stuff I should know but don't: I had to dial up the Intarweb and find out how to bake potatoes. I've never baked potatoes before. I'm 32 years old.

This past weekend: My brother and I took a road trip to Clarksville, Tennessee to visit my mom and my sister. 13 hours each way. My mom is manic with seemingly a raging case of ADHD and my sister...well, my sister can barely muster the effort to see her family. She has "health problems" that just become a convenient excuse when she's feeling lazy and no one ever calls her on it because we're supposed to pity her or something. I'm a little fed up, so fuck that shit. Life doesn't revolve around Gail. Unless your my mother, then life not only revolves around taking care of Gail, but making sure the rest of us suffer for her sacrafices because, you know, I'm responsible for the chronic bad decisions that are made by my family members.

Sigh.

At least the dog I wrote about here is awfully cute. She's still a puppy and could probably provide electricity to a small town if put on a treadmill, but she's relatively unannoying for a Chuhuaha.

Looking forward to: Watching Lost tonight. Another dumb JJ Abrams show I'm hooked on.

Disappointed by: My cats' rather unenthusiastic greeting upon my return from TN. They didn't even investigate who came in the door - I had to find them. Rat bastards.

Thrilled by: Watching the Texans crush the Titans while in Tennessee. I love my Texans.

Troubled by: The waivering of my hatred of the Astros. I might jump on the bandwagon, sad to say. It's sorta hard not being excited about the team almost heading to the World Series.

Mark my words: The Astros will win the World Series. Folks, there's fate and this team has it. Oh, and Carlos Beltran, whose asking price is probably somewhere around $25 million per year due to his post-season performance.

=(

Christopher Reeve passed away yesterday.

I remember getting several "bootleg" VHS movies from my uncle back in the day, when video tape players just came out. One of movies he gave my family was Superman. I watched the hell out of that movie.

I think for most people Christopher Reeve was Superman. He was the perfect man for that role. He portrayed the humor of Clark Kent, the human, and the strength of Superman, the hero, perfectly. I don't think anyone else will ever fit the role of Big Blue as well as he did.

And he became larger than life in real life. He faced his accident and his paralysis better than I think 99.99% of us ever could. I sorta got the feeling that he was the type of guy that could wear a cape around in daily life and no one would think it was strange because he became a hero for a lot of people.

Rest in peace, Christopher Reeve.

Why the Texans don't suck

As a Texans fan, I will say that even though the Texans lost 34-28 in overtime yesterday against the Minnesota Vikings, I'm not disappointed in the loss. Trailing 21-0 early in the third quarter, one tends to lose hope, but then David Carr, Andre Johnson and Derick Armstrong put every NFL team on notice that the Texans offense is on the cusp of being very scary. Andre Johnson is really stepping up and showing flashes of an "elite" wide receiver. And where did Derick Armstrong come from and why isn't he starting opposite Johnson? All this guy does is make crucial plays when a drive is on the line.

Now, that being said, I will state once again: the Texans defense sucks. And this isn't a knee-jerk reaction due to our inability to stop a very potent Minnesota offense that features The Freak, Randy Moss. No, this is a pattern of suckage. We have NO pass rush whatsoever. I don't know if it's because of our players or the system - the 3-4 defense. With the 3-4, you need the players that fit the system...you can't just install it and mold the players to it. So in that respect, I really don't know if the 3-4 is the right defense for our personnel. Our secondary routinely gets burned by teams, not just elite receivers like Moss.

I really don't care what happens this season regarding our record. As long as we keep seeing the progress the offense is making, along with some recognition by SOMEONE that our defense just isn't working, then I'm happy. I'm more happy with our LOSS to Minnesota than either of our wins this year because of what I saw our offense do when push came to shove. Andre Johnson is the real deal and Carr is quickly coming to realize he can just hoist a ball up and let Andre make a play for it. It's a beautiful thing - that's the same kind of trust they put in guys like Terrell Owens and Randy Moss. You might have heard of those two guys even though they rarely get any press.

The Paige Post

Paige wanted me to write a blog entry about her, so here it is:

PAIGE IS A BIIIIIIAAAAAAATTTTTTCCCCCHHHHHHH!

LOL...how you do like them apples, Paige? That'll teach ya for IMing me while I'm trying to compress video!

Cheney v. Edwards

While slurping his pureed baby smoothie through a bendy straw, Cheney looked somewhat uncomfortable while debating Edwards. He was hunched over and spoke into his hands often during the hour and a half debate, but he held his own, as expected.

And while nibbling on a bowl of puppies and kittens, Cheney came off as I expected him to: like a knowledgable, if somewhat droll and uncharismatic business man.

I'm calling this debate a draw, as neither man completely PWNED the other. But it still comes down to the issues and Cheney is unconvincing regarding Iraq. At one point he mentioned an al Queda leader living (and still living) in Bahgdad when faced with the facts of there being no link between Iraq and 9/11. As if the mere presence of members of al Queda in any country makes that country directly responsible for acts of terrorism, right? Edwards countered that al Queda is spread across some 60 countries, so do we have a plan to invade them all.

The more poignant thought I had is that al Queda was and probably still is in THIS country. Are we therefore, using Cheney's logic, sponsors of terrorism?

I also thought it was pretty telling that Cheney kept his response to the question of gay marriage short: he believes in freedom for everyone, but he supports his president's policies. Edwards responded by praising Cheney and his family's support of his gay daughter, which was the only nice moment between the men. Cheney's rebuttal was a thank you. It seems to me that although Cheney and Bush might be divided on this issue - Bush being driven by his born again Christian beliefs and his pandering to the new Republican party of the religious right, Cheney being driven by how its affected his family personally - Cheney will tow the party line.

I did not like Edward's emphatic repetition of "we believe marriage is between a man and a woman" line. Simply stated, civil unions DO NOT equal marriage. They aren't on the same level, there is not an equality of spirit there. There is merely a concession. Once again, gay folks get the shaft from politicians, democrat or republican. Pun intended.

So, the debate was pretty much down the middle as far as holding their own. Obviously, I don't agree with the Bush/Cheney administration and would like to see them gone.

But here's the most telling point of the debate, and what I feel typifies the Bush/Cheney message: during closing statements, Edwards' speech was about change and hope and regaining America. Cheney, on the other hand, stated that in a world where a terrorist could detonate a chemical or nuclear weapon in any city in this country, we have to be vigilant and combat terrorism throughout the world.

Edwards: Hope

Cheney: Fear

Folks, it really does come down to "more of the same" from the current administration, not just in their failures, but also in their messages. The messages that they use to justify, both before and after, their failures. I don't want my administration to talk to me as if I'm only a bundle of distrust, anxiety and fear. I want America to regain some of what it was pre-9/11 because I feel as if we've been paralyzed by those events. We're paralyzed by fear and an inability to believe that things can and will get better. We just have to believe in moving forward in an intelligent, cautious and optimistic fashion.

No more fear. I'm sick of hearing it...

Me > You.

First off, let me gloat a bit about my genius picking of Arizona over New Orleans this past NFL week. Two things went into this last-minute pick: 1. Arizona has been playing good teams tough due to their defense. 10-17 vs. the Rams, 12-23 vs. New England and 3-6 vs. Atlanta, all losses, but not horrible "make yo' mama cry" blowouts. 2. New Orleans, despite their early success and coming off an overtime win in St. Louis, had yet to implode, and that is an occurance in the NFL you can always count on.

"Honey, has New Orleans imploded yet?"
"Why yes, sweetie. Aaron Brooks just fumbled again!"
"Pookie, did little Emmitt Smith just throw a touchdown pass?"
"Yes he did, sweet-ums!"
"Ah, it must officially be the time of year to crush the hopes of all Saints fans."

It's a beautiful thing, the NFL.

And now, on a sad note, I lost in my money league 88-87. One freakin' point. Marshall Faulk and his damn false sense of hope. Damn you Marshall! May Mike Martz never give you another carry near the end zone! Oh wait...

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And now onto something even sadder: you. And you know who YOU are. You're the person(s) who insists on insulting me (anonymously...yawn) and then when your punk ass is called out on it, you're all like "well, yeah, but you get to insult people, so there!"

Listen up, chumps: I created this site to amuse myself...MY-DAMN-SELF. Some others find it amusing at times, as some have either commented on the site or sent me private messages as to their undying love and admiration for my point of view.

But what I find funny are the anonymous folks that think their insult of "you're boring" or "you're stupid" is on the same level as my insults. Here, I'll lower myself down to your depths in order to fill you with a false sense of equality:

Me. Greater than you.

Somehow I have gotten on the bad side of M. Night Shamalame's fan club president or more likely, some baby-eating, unapologetic, on-their-knees in "admiration" George Dubya Bush fans.

You see, despite all indication otherwise, this is still the United States of America and you are still allowed to have your own opinions. And I still have the right to tell you how wrong your opinions are. But if your opinion is only as deep as "ur dum," then why don't I have a right to call you out on it and pick my teeth with you (see, that's over-the-top and a bit tongue-in-cheek...that's done for humor's sake...another thing I can't teach people is how to laugh).

If you don't like my opinions, and here's the good part, you can click and never come back. The internet's kinda cool like that. There's something for everyone. I understand that some people don't find me funny, but strange, I don't remember filling out an application to amuse you.

Now you're saying to yourself "but she's contradicting herself! She's entitling herself to her opinions, but insulting ours." Well, yes and no. Your opinions might be VERY valid, but I can't respond to "you're boring and dumb" feedback. You GOT to try better than that...at least engage me in a conversation if you want to declare my writing to be an utter worthless pile of crap (and it very well may be and I'm too arrogant to realize it). I'll be more than happy to insult you privately via email (for a small fee for the sheer pleasure of my insultation services).

Insultation. I like that. Much like "consultation," but without all the whore-like associations (now that'll probably draw the ire of Accenture's worldwide staff...oh, like they don't have a pencil up their collective asses anyway).

And props to some random dude named David Humphrey (if that is your real name) for personally emailing me to tell me to take my bleeding heart to New Zealand. He mustn't have read much of my stuff since it's quite easy to tell I have no heart, let alone a bleeding one. Oh and David, have you put the lotion in the basket yet?

Bush got PWNED!!!!

I watched the debate last night, like a good citizen. I want to be informed going into this very important presidential election.

Wow. Bush got PWNED.

Now look, I hate Bush. I think he has lead this country down the toilet in both his domestic and foreign policies, the worst of which being this war in Iraq, which we entered into foolishly and for ALL the wrong reasons. No WMDs. No ties to al Queda. I've been harping on this since before the war. But never mind...I'll refrain from the "I told you so" routine.

My vote was going to be for Kerry, but I kind of felt like it was a vote by default. I was really unfamiliar with Kerry and his stance on the war, and I wasn't altogether comfortable with vote for intervention in Iraq.

But after last night, I don't feel like my vote is much of a "lesser of two evils" thing, because Kerry, while laying an absolute ruthless asskicking on Bush, said a lot of things that made sense and explained to me what he believes and stands for.

Now, I don't even think it's a debate whether or not Bush got pwned (that's internet speak for "owned," if you're not down with the 'net speak). He was utterly pwned, and moreso, he looked like an idiot who keep harping on the same fuzzy, already-proven-false issues that he was harping on before the war in Iraq. How stupid do his speech writers think we are? The war in Iraq IS NOT ABOUT TERRORISM. Hello! Stop forcing that lie down our throats. You look like an assclown.

Oh, and don't forget Poland! While building our massive galatic coalition of forces to go into Iraq, consisting of the U.S., Britian and...uh...POLAND?, don't you fucking forget Poland, yo! I'll have to give props to John Stewart and The Daily Show's coverage of the "Squabble in Coral Gables" for the Poland references. If you forget Poland, they might get pissed off and cut off our supply of "how many Pollacks does it take to change a lightbulb" jokes.

I was very impressed with Kerry and I was not expecting to ever be impressed with this guy. I'm feeling a bit better about choice come November.

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And now, let me address my small "anonymous" readership that thinks it's fun to hit and run with your worthless insults:

If you want to insult me, then at least leave your name on your post and your email, you fucking pussies. I'm out here, letting it all hang out, with my name and email all over this site. I don't hide behind anonymity, like some of you retards who don't have the courage to actually BE ACCOUNTABLE for your comments.

And if you decide you don't like me because of one post, I encourage you to read more of my blog and see if you just disagree with ONE thing I'm saying or if you truly hate the totality of me. Stupid people may hate me, but smart people know I'm basically harmless unless you get in my crosshairs.